Listen
by SmashTurnip Girl
Summary: The morning after the end of Fertilityklok.


**Listen**

Skwisgaar doesn't like being kept waiting. They were supposed to start practice at 11:00; Skwisgaar is suitably late (although it's only 11:20, which, by Dethklok standards is as good as early), but Toki is nowhere to be seen. He knows that Toki was out celebrating his birthday the night before (without the rest of the band, which is a dick move, as far as Skwisgaar's concerned), but this session had been arranged a while ago. It's not even like it was his actual birthday - he could have gone out tonight when there's no rehearsal.

Seriously, what a dick.

Skwisgaar waits, periodically rolling his eyes and tutting at Toki's absence. He has put his guitar to one side and is pacing the room with his arms crossed in annoyance by the time Toki arrives, and he's already angry with him.

"Oh, so you finally decides to graces me withs your presence."

"I's sorry, Skwisgaar," says Toki sheepishly. "I hads... A long nights, so I wokes up lates."

Skwisgaar raises an eyebrow. Toki doesn't seem hungover, which is the result of most of Toki's long nights. Which usually happen with Skwisgaar. "You don't looks like you's been drinking. And how long does a dates takes?"

"Well, I wents on a dates and den we, uh..." Toki looks around nervously and laughs. Skwisgaar eyes him suspiciously. "Anyways, let's starts playings, come ons!"

"Waits," says Skwisgaar. "Has you ams beens up all nights screwing sluts?"

"I..." Toki's expression turns quickly to one of anger. "So whats, I cans if I wants!" he exclaims defensively. "Dat's all what you has been doing for de past couple of weeks."

"Dis amn'ts about mes, Toki," a phrase which Skwisgaar doesn't often say. "So yous goes on one dates and den you fucks her?" Skwisgaar laughs, but not out of amusement. "You's such a hipposcrits, Toki."

"What?"

"Thinkings you ams better dan de rests of us, when all you wants from de goils is sex. You's no different dan us. Dat wasn't a dates, Toki; dat was justs foreplay." Skwisgaar doesn't know why he's so irritated with Toki, but he can't stop himself.

"Whats I dos is nones of your fucking business."

"I don't knows, Toki, maybe it is when you looks downs at us all de times when you really ams just as bad. Pretendings you wants dates and loves and all dat shits when all you wants is sex. Pfft. Dildo."

"I do wants dat! It's just..."

"Oh, I gets it, you ams listens to yous dicks."

"Fucks you, Skwisgaar," says Toki, and, for a moment, Skwisgaar thinks that Toki might hit him. "A sluts like yous wouldn't understands."

"At least I don't pretends sex is anythings over dan just funs."

Toki's expression softens, but Skwisgaar can't quite place it - confusion? Perhaps some kind of realisation? "I feels sorry for yous, Skwisgaar. You's probably never really careds abouts anyone ins your whole lifes, has you?" It's _pity_; Skwisgaar doesn't need that.

"You ams such a kids, Toki: love ams bullshit." He accentuates every one of his last three words. He and Toki are close now (too close), merely centimetres apart. Toki doesn't reply, and Skwisgaar notices in the near-silence how calm Toki is; he can barely hear him breathing.

At last, Toki smiles, as if laughing at some private joke. It unnerves Skwisgaar. Toki's eyes look up at his fellow guitarist's. "You knows, Skwisgaar, I thinks you ams jealous." Skwisgaar makes no reply, merely raising an eyebrow as a challenge to continue. "You ams jealous dat I tries to find someone to spends de rest of my lifes with, when you knows dat you ams just going to ends up alone."

Skwisgaar wonders if Toki can hear his heart pounding.

"Love amn'ts bullshit, Skwisgaar. You's just afraids of it."

Skwisgaar lets out a insubstantial, breathy laugh. Toki can't be right, because he's Toki and he never is. But Skwisgaar knows about the crush the younger man has on him, and it makes him feel uncomfortable as much as he feels flattered by it. Skwisgaar's never really paid it much mind before, but it hits him, all of a sudden, that maybe it's uncomfortable because he _likes_ it. He wants the younger guitarist to idolise him, and he's angry because Toki's had the audacity to look elsewhere.

Skwisgaar wouldn't call it afraid, exactly, but his lips are dry and he's all too aware of his own heartbeat.

"Toki," he starts, licking his lips. He pauses, trying to pull himself together. He looks Toki in the eye and finds the courage to continue. "Your dick... What ams it sayings now?"

Skwisgaar isn't sure his heart's still beating.

"It says you's a real jerk." Skwisgaar feels his heart again, somewhere around his stomach. Toki closes his eyes. "But..." He opens them again, and his hands are hesitantly placed on Skwisgaar's cheeks. "It ams never wanted someones more dan it wants you."

Toki smiles, and Skwisgaar has no idea what he's feeling anymore. All he knows is that Toki's lips feel right against his own and something is telling him, screaming at him that he needs Toki like he's never needed anyone before.

Skwisgaar listens, and he's sure that Toki can hear it, too.


End file.
